Supernova: That Party Girl Is Actually Just Sad Asf

We all know a Supernova. She drinks a lot, enjoys a lot of wild nights out, and is typically the one everyone likes to party with.  Since she looks outwardly happy,  it’s a little hard to gauge if her lifestyle is that of a fun loving extrovert or a broken woman.  And while ‘live and let live’ may be the safest mantra to adopt to avoid conflict with your rock star friend, there are some ways to tell if you need to pull her back from the brink of self-destruction.

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Supernovas shine brightest because they’re actually hemorrhaging light.  Don’t let your friend burn herself out.

The easiest and most obvious way to find out if she’s OK is to ask her.  Just make sure you do it privately.  Nothing’s tackier than asking someone something personal in their comments section.  Also, be ready to accept that she may be too prideful to admit that her life has fallen off track.  Either way, if you see a friend overindulging and engaging in risky behavior, don’t dismiss it as just more bad behavior from a self-proclaimed bad gyal.

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Be prepared to listen when finally she does open up.

Even the toughest woman can hit a rough patch and start to downspiral, so it’s not really cool to let her life turn into one long Future mixtape.  Offer her some ways to pull her out of her funk, instead.

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My friends know what I’m into.

During the darkest periods in someone’s life, it can still look like they’re having a lot of fun.  This is because not everyone’s pain looks the same.  In an age where we judge others by their social media feeds, it’s easy for people who’re suffering from depression or going through a difficult time to keep up a charade for months or even years at a time. In fact, some women with stable lifestyles and healthy relationships may even look at a friend’s constant partying, self-medicating, and overlapping of romantic relationships as their idea of a good time. Only, anyone truly committed to serious aspects of adulting–such as paying rent, being present in their kid’s lives, or simply not becoming addicted to Xanax–knows that a prolonged turn-up session can result in personal ruin.tumblr_lyw2m7rnmd1qzguyto4_250

You don’t want that for yourself, so why would you want that for your friend?  Speak up if you really care.  Check in.  Let them know that there are other ways to channel their energy after a bad breakup, loss of a job–or a really bad haircut.  Catch a trap yoga class.  Have a bad ’90s movie night.  Loan a shoulder. But monitor the party girls in your clique, and monitor yourself.  Honestly, I’ve been on both sides of the supernova scenario.  The reason I’m able to pay this info forward is that I’ve always had at least one friend willing to let me cry my mascara off and help me delete a few numbers out of my phone forever. We all have times when we need to let our hair down and unleash our inner party girl, but we also have times when all we really need is to be uplifted.

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Now, go forth and slay.

 

 

One thought on “Supernova: That Party Girl Is Actually Just Sad Asf

  1. charandtheweb

    I love this, because I agree with you, we all have this person in our lives. In fact, my best friend in high school was like this and at that time I truly did think it was all her idea of fun and expressing herself. Until it became obvious to me that she wasn’t as confident and happy as I thought she was. I hope that if I ever hit a rough patch, my friends will be there just as I will be there for them. I believe in positive karma so there you go. Great post.

    Would you be interested in sharing your work elsewhere? We are currently looking for aspiring writers who are looking for a bigger audience, to take their writing to the next level, and to simply let their voice be heard. Let me know if you’d be interested. You can find my contact details on my blog, so please do shoot me an e-mail if you’d like more information. Hope to hear from you.

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